I know I have written about how I became a photographer, but not why. Throughout my life I have owned a camera and I would spend hours with my father in his dark room watching the images appear on the paper. I never really thought about it back then, but I knew I was pretty good at it even at a young age. Then life happened and I put down the camera and really didn’t pick one up again until my boys were born, I took quite a few photos of them and of course I took photos of our family vacations. After getting separated from my husband I once again laid down the camera and stopped taking photos. I was working a lot and If I honestly look back at that time period I was depressed. I worked, and slept and not much else. Up until that point I had mostly used a Nikon and Canon SLR film camera with a limited knowledge of digital so I went out and purchased a cheap HP digital camera. I used it for a week and realized it wasn’t what I wanted so I took it back and traded it in for a Kodak, it was much easier to use and the battery life was really good. It was exactly what I needed. I realized to get myself out of the depression I was in I needed to get outdoors and start taking photos again.
I never shared with anyone about my depression, I was embarrassed I wasn’t in control of my emotions. I know the feeling of wanting to end my life, as I had considered that as a way out, however I had way too much to live for and could not fathom what my children would think. That $80 camera was my saving grace; my medication in a flash card.
As time elapsed I was able to purchase a DSLR camera, I purchased a Canon EOS XS and learned all I could about using it, I started with wildlife and evolved into working with a radio station taking concert photos, what a wonderful feeling that was to get close up to the stars of my youth. Exhilarating to say the least! I was able to purchase studio supplies with backgrounds, lighting and several great lenses. I learned Photoshop and Lightroom and last year I was able to upgrade my camera equipment once again. I have been privileged to shoot in some awesome venues on the West and East Coast of Florida and I have expanded my work to shooting portraits and weddings as well. I am building a wonderful business with some great repeat clients and have an incredible following on this blog and on Facebook, Twitter and a couple of other social media sites.
I know this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I’m also thrilled that I get to work with another extremely talented photographer, someone I have known his entire life; my son. He’s so incredibly talented and I don’t have to worry about him or what he may say or do with the clients, he’s a consummate professional and proud to have him as my wedding photography partner.
With this all being said, I am so sad that so many face depression daily, and some to the point of where they feel there is no way out, I wish everyone who is depressed could rebound as easily as I have, but as we know with the great Robin Williams who was loved, so very talented and seemed to have it all together, yet he was so deep into his sadness that he felt he had no other alternative but to take his own life. We will never know what he was thinking or how he came to that decision, but I hope we can all learn. Get help if you need it, don’t feel embarrassed you’re not alone. I was fortunate, my therapist was behind the lens. Rest in Peace Robin Williams the world will miss you.