I have titled this blog My New Valentine, because that is exactly what it is, I have found a new love; ME!
I normally don’t use this blog for the personal stuff, but it is my blog and I am human and every now and then I need to post my more personal life. My main New Year’s resolution this year is to live more authentically and that means to be open and transparent in my life.
I have been going through relationship issues and trying to find who I am once again.
I knew for a couple of years I needed to remove myself from this relationship, however I was in love and wanted to make it work, then something happened which began another year and a half simply because he ‘needed’ me to be there for him. I stood by him, believed in him and I did what I had to do because I loved him and wanted to help (isn’t that what love is about, the good and the bad?). After this was over I felt even less appreciated and more taken for granted than ever, I felt used. A few months later once again another life event and I was there to help, some of it labor intensive because I loved him and wanted him to be happy. What I didn’t expect was after he was finished using me, he wanted to end the relationship. I resisted because he had always said people aren’t willing to work through their problems, they would prefer to throw them out like the trash and I was willing to work through it, this was all a lie, in fact I realize now most of our relationship was a lie. At that point I figured out some other things were going on as well; a revelation which was a deal breaker for me, as much as I loved him, I deserved better and a lot more respect. I decided I would not tolerate being used, lied to and cheated on any longer.
I refuse to be a victim, and chose to move forward with my life and reclaim the person I had been missing.
Unfortunately the poor choice to spread lies was made in a public forum; must have been the guilt. I took the much higher road and refused to respond; call it maturity.
Considering the hurt and betrayal I felt, I also felt foolish for not seeing it sooner, but love will blind you to the negative, because you don’t want to see it in someone you love. I am not perfect and it takes two to make a relationship, however it’s difficult when only one wants to try.
From this I have become incredibly happy, stress free, healthy and successful. I wish only the best for those who have been in my life. As a friend recently told me, I simply outgrew the relationship, and it was time to move onward and upward. I have healed and moved forward with life. My photography business has increased in ways I would never have imagined, I am still doing the type of photography I truly love and have a passion for, I have a group of friends who have stood by me and encouraged me, God is working through me in ways I could have never imagined and I have improved my life and my outlook and I am no longer in a toxic relationship.
Life is incredible and on this Valentine’s Day I don’t need a relationship to make me feel like I am important, special, or beautiful. I already know I am all of these things and so much more. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!