I made a decision over two years ago to work toward becoming a full time photographer. Life events changed and I needed to see if it was something I could do on my own. I set some small goals and took a year to see if I really could make it in this world of younger, more beautiful work. Of course that notion is one self-perceived and I have found my work speaks for itself. I went into 2015 with some specific goals in mind and then I was approached about the possibility of opening a studio. That’s a bit scary because I am not sure how I would actually fund that venture, so instead I am scaling back and reassessing my goals. I belong to a women’s group called National Association of Christian Women Leaders, Inc. (NACWL) and the past few months we have been talking about a vision of moving on, moving up, and moving out. I have taken the first step in all this with the moving on. I actually moved on very quickly because I had already made that decision months prior to actually doing it. As difficult as it was I felt it was something I was being led to do. That’s when I decided on the year of rebuilding and finding my footing again. I am now in the process of moving up. I re-evaluated the goals I had set in a five year plan (which has been accelerated) and I’m collecting the information I need to become a business owner, by doing research, talking with other photographers and relying on my mentor and friend who is an extremely successful small business owner and one who gave me stellar advice which I am implementing and I trust him explicitly, he sugar coats nothing and I adore him for that. He’s only a phone call away and if I need to talk something out, he’s there to listen and to help me see things a bit differently and to give me a reality check. I’m currently in phase one of creating an intimate in house studio in a small room in my small odd shaped apartment. During phase two I will be helped by a friend who is incredibly talented when it comes to ideas and construction (so glad I don’t have to rely on my own strengths for this). I know I can rely on him to help me decide the best method for rigging my drops and creating movable V-flats; another gem of a friend who has championed me through some decisions by helping me to look at things differently. I believe I will be in the moving up portion for a longer period of time than I was with the moving on portion. I know God has a hand in my life by the way things are moving, because there is no way I could be doing any of this without his guiding hand. I know that he has placed some incredibly positive people in my life to encourage me and love on me and to help me, and he’s brought me to a group of women leaders of whom I can learn and glean incredible knowledge from and gain a huge network of support. And to think this all came about with a ride on the back of a horse and some tough questions I needed to answer.
Last week my friend Geva invited me to photograph a drum circle. Not sure what I was expecting, but this was quite incredible. There were all ages at this circle, from the very young to they very young at heart. My friend was drumming and I was quite intrigued, because I know from reading her book she started out not understanding how to get the rhythms from her drum. As I listened to the beats they were so uplifting and colorful and I really wanted to be a part of it, but I can tell you I would have been out of my comfort zone on this one. As a creative, I’m quite musical, but singing was always my forte. Being classically trained I tend to even over think that. So instead of joining in, I listened and tried to capture the rhythm with my camera. Maybe someday I will go again and attempt to strike up a beat with the group. But for now I will hear it in my photographs.
I realize this blog is for my photo meanderings and newly acquired review of bands and artists I photograph, but since it is my blog and I have complete creative license, today we will talk a bit more about me.
I’ve had a rough couple of months, with some personal issues, however I’ve found out some wonderful things. I have real friends who care and for once in my life are carrying me instead of me trying to be strong and act as if nothing’s been wrong. I learned this the hard way from a past experience when I had no one to fall back on, so instead I fell into my self….never a good thing. It’s not bad to have to lean on others from time to time, but it’s not easy and sometimes it’s very hurtful to the pride to think “I can’t do this alone” , it’s been extremely healing and it’s getting me to where I need to be. Good people are important in your life, without them, we meander aimlessly and take longer to recover. I have also found out how important holding a camera is and when there is music involved it’s even more important; It’s therapy. Unfortunately, this time of year in SW Florida there isn’t much on the music scene in the way of concerts, however we have had some wonderful festivals which I was able to be a part of photographically.
I have found myself working in a business alone that was once shared, and honestly even though I miss the camaraderie, I realize how much stronger I am as a photographer alone. I have to get each shot perfect because I don’t have a back-up. I also have stepped up to promote myself and to build and rebuild my reputation, character and my overall business. It’s not an easy process, but definitely one I am enjoying. I am discovering things about myself I didn’t know existed and I am stretching myself far beyond what I thought I could, simply because I am not relying on another person to be there. I also found that I don’t need to respond to negative behaviors; my loyalty, compassion, honor, integrity all speak for it’s self, I have no defense, because there is nothing to defend; my integrity is in tact. People may talk, but it’s simply idle chatter. One of my favorite quotes of recent is by Eleanor Roosevelt which is in the photo I have posted.
I am not perfect nor do I claim to be, I am a woman who loves and will treat others as they have treated me, I love being behind the lens of a camera and am at home in that realm, and I give credit where credit is due. If it had not been for my former partner in life and business, I know I would not be as far as I have come, I have many times over acknowledged that fact. I find with each relationship you grow, and expand and sometimes you think you lose…..but do you really? After all every great oak loses it’s leaves in times of harshness and stress, but what stands is a sturdy trunk, and given the right elements for growth new leaves will appear and the strength of that tree will stand once again to the test of time and the reality of it’s surroundings. I am that tree and I am returning to my full beautiful glory. Look out world because this lady is going to take you by storm and by camera!
As promised the next posting will be camera and music related, Waiting to hear about credentials for the Broadway style rock show, We Will Rock You, featuring the music of Queen.
Catch me behind the lens,