After feeling pretty bad about some shots I took from a couple of concerts, I was estactic to get a response from an email I sent out a few weeks ago regarding the Stars on Ice show here in Fort Myers at the Germain arena. I have been approved to be hired again this year to photograph the promo shot, and to follow them about their day from warm ups to dress rehearsal and the show.
I know I shouldn’t worry, but I do. Was I good enough? Do they want to use me again this year? All the questions I throw at myself in that negative self talk. Well, the email stated they were excited to have me back! Deep breath and a happy dance.
It will be much better this year, I’ll have a lot more confidence in what I’m doing, I will feel more at ease being with these young stars and Olympic medalists and I know what they expect from me. Last year I was quite nervous being around the production team; this year it will feel more like I’m an important part of the show albeit back stage and in the shadows. I’m looking forward to a wonderful day.
Most of the time I enjoy looking back on my year. However, this year I slacked, a lot, and I have to make some changes. I just didn’t get out as much as I normally do. Even during camping season it seemed it was always interrupted with something I “had” to do. I wasn’t as intentional as I had been the past few years. I didn’t create good content for my Facebook page and actually neglected it. I had something happen that set me off into the “not good enough” thought process, which in turn caused me to purge a lot of unneeded stress in my social media life. But I would go out and take photos and think, “these are not good, what am I doing trying to create good photos when I can’t do it?” I really had to shake that mindset; I am my own worst critic.
Life was disrupted with a move in the middle part of the year and it was during a very stressful time. I’m still trying to adjust. Then, in September we were hit by one of the largest hurricane’s in recent history. Irma totally upset my world, but I came out a whole lot better than many of my friends did and I can tell you I am most grateful for that blessing. Yet, the stress was still there and even guilt that so many lost so much and I didn’t. I can’t explain why it was that way, but it was; again I am so grateful to not have had any damage.
Sometimes life gives you those old lemons and it’s not always easy to make the lemonade. In fact, I have thrown a lot of lemons away because I just could not bring myself to make them work. Ever feel like that?
I’m looking forward to a clean start with 2018, I won’t make promises I can’t keep, but I will put a lot more effort into making it an incredible year personally and professionally.
Here’s a look back on what I did accomplish photographically:
A cute Super Hero
Four homes down from me.
Rod Stewart & Cyndi Lauper
Stars on Ice
The Late Chris Cornell, two weeks prior to his death