Every year I start out with, “I’m going to blog more, I’m going to shoot more and I’m going to post more”; then, reality hits and it doesn’t happen. This year, because I want to take better care of myself mentally and not put the weight of this upon myself, I am not going to set any resolutions. However, my usual goal setting is going to happen, because I achieve more when I set goals, but they will be things that will enrich my life and not make it more stressful or things that won’t make me feel guilty if I fall through.
Another thing that is going to happen this year, is I’m going to focus my energy more in doing concerts and open myself up to doing more local band portraiture work.
I also want to do more nature photography which takes me to my happy place. I will continue to do the occasional wedding and portrait shoot; in fact I have a wedding on the books for August of 2019 and I know I will be photographing my favorite little and her family a few times this year. I really want to focus on what drives me which is the music and being out in nature.
I want to grow my Instagram and will be focusing more on the concert side of that with my @photocreationsbydeb page. I may create a new one for my own personal work with the natural environment, but time will tell.
The point is, I’m not going to goal myself to the degree where I beat myself up if I don’t achieve the goals. I’m putting them out there, if they are completed, great! If not then that’s ok too and I will just work smarter on the important ones.
A Quick Look Back
In 2018 I decided to take a full vacation, somewhere other than Florida. I went to North Caroline to spend time with girlfriends who know me better than just about anyone (and they still love me, imagine that!). I began planning early which made the excitement build. It was such a wonderful trip with lots of mountain air to clear my head and exploring new and exciting places.
During the summer I don’t work much, I mean I have my day job, but I don’t get to shoot much and I end up just staying at home trying to come up with things to do. I don’t do boredom well and tend to retreat into myself. I miss shooting concerts, I miss shooting events. I’ve done a few local bands, and I’ve taken on a fairly large project with a small business, but it’s just not the same for me. In a month I’m heading for a vacation to North Carolina for two full weeks I’ll be in the mountains, breathing fresh clean air and capturing nature at her best, I feel this will be the renewing I need.
I know fall is coming and life will start to get crazy again and I will be in my happy place once more. Until then… I’ll just keep going.
Most of the time I enjoy looking back on my year. However, this year I slacked, a lot, and I have to make some changes. I just didn’t get out as much as I normally do. Even during camping season it seemed it was always interrupted with something I “had” to do. I wasn’t as intentional as I had been the past few years. I didn’t create good content for my Facebook page and actually neglected it. I had something happen that set me off into the “not good enough” thought process, which in turn caused me to purge a lot of unneeded stress in my social media life. But I would go out and take photos and think, “these are not good, what am I doing trying to create good photos when I can’t do it?” I really had to shake that mindset; I am my own worst critic.
Life was disrupted with a move in the middle part of the year and it was during a very stressful time. I’m still trying to adjust. Then, in September we were hit by one of the largest hurricane’s in recent history. Irma totally upset my world, but I came out a whole lot better than many of my friends did and I can tell you I am most grateful for that blessing. Yet, the stress was still there and even guilt that so many lost so much and I didn’t. I can’t explain why it was that way, but it was; again I am so grateful to not have had any damage.
Sometimes life gives you those old lemons and it’s not always easy to make the lemonade. In fact, I have thrown a lot of lemons away because I just could not bring myself to make them work. Ever feel like that?
I’m looking forward to a clean start with 2018, I won’t make promises I can’t keep, but I will put a lot more effort into making it an incredible year personally and professionally.
Here’s a look back on what I did accomplish photographically:
A cute Super Hero
Four homes down from me.
Rod Stewart & Cyndi Lauper
Stars on Ice
The Late Chris Cornell, two weeks prior to his death
I feel as if I’ve been MIA for way too long. I have not written much since the end of April, because life took me for a loop for a while. I’ve been stressed and really haven’t felt much like writing, always had good intentions then as soon as I would get home, my brain kicked off and I shut down. I’m not sure what I am going through, but it’s definitely a funk of some sort. I have been trying to figure out the reasons for it and have come up with several plausible excuses. Moving; this was a big one, moving for me, being alone is extremely stressful. I did have some wonderful help from friends and my youngest son on the big move day, but still I did a lot of loads by myself. I think in the beginning of the move I really didn’t have a place to live, and had a lot going on in the photography part of my life and it sent me over the edge of being confused and stressed. The next element to lead up to this funk is that I’ve not had enough down time, and I don’t mean just weekends at home, I mean true down time with being out of doors camping and spending time with my son. My schedule this past season was so busy I didn’t have time to really release myself to the outdoors. I miss it, I miss spending time with family, and I think that has a huge play in my current feelings. And third, I just have no motivation, my creativity has decreased and I think it all relates back to reason one & two. I am tired……really tired, the kind of tired that all you want to do is to stay in bed and sleep kind of tired, but I make myself get up, get dressed and go out. Last night was the first time in quite some time I did photography for me, for my own pleasure and although I totally enjoy going out with my shutterbug friends, I felt as if I was detached and not really into what I was doing; this needs to change. I took some beautiful shots which I will include as a slideshow at the end of this writing.
I need to get myself back to being excited and wanting to go out and shoot beyond my concerts, which I still find so enjoyable and exciting! I have the possibility of four of them in the next couple of weeks with one of them getting me away and in a hotel for a night….this will be good, because I can then take myself to visit someplace new the morning after. I will not only be photographing three of my top bands, I will also be attending the concert as fan.
My energy definitely goes up when it comes to concerts; I love the excitement of being in the pit and challenging myself to get those near perfect shots, I also need to get out into nature and stop coming up with excuses on why I can’t or won’t. I need to be behind the lens……..
October is the month where my photographic life starts to pick up. With the cooler temperatures come more outdoor events here in the beautiful state of Florida, specifically South West Florida. I shoot more concerts, festivals and portraits during the fall & winter months than any other time of the year, and some weeks it’s totally crazy. I don’t mind the crazy because October is what I call my “sad” month; it’s the month my father passed away thirty-three years ago on October 17. I have written before that he too was a photographer and I know if he could see what I have done with a camera he would be incredibly proud of me, but I miss him. This is also the month my oldest son Jimmy turns 33; where has the time gone? I was just a young girl of twenty-four when this all took place, truly a lifetime ago.
I have a lot of wonderful events on the books and I’m sure I’ll be writing more as they unfold, but for now………daddy, this one’s for you.
I am not making any resolutions this year, but I do have goals for my personal and professional life. My first goal is to be more creative; to take the time to really see what is in front of my lens. Another goal is to book more weddings, however I am particular and will only take those which follow my standards and vision. A personal goal is to take more “me” time, to get out and enhance my own skills and to work to make me better. I also want to be more active in my blog here, I put out quite a few last year, but my goal for 2016 is to blog weekly. Writing is something I enjoy and I want to write a lot more, which will also get me out and shooting more so that I have something to blog about. I want to read more books this year, reading is an escape and I want to go to the park or beach with a good book and get lost in it. I also want to sit in quiet reflection to get closer to God and to simply listen for life’s answers.